


swallow your bitter pills

by cacodaemonia



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cacodaemonia/pseuds/cacodaemonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun falls and Chanyeol catches him. Chanyeol is drowning and Baekhyun doesn't know how to save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	swallow your bitter pills

Your last conversation will be pleasant. It won’t end in tears, and it won’t end in laughter. It will be soft smiles and soft voices and soft touches, and that will be that.

(That will be that, but it still won’t be enough.

It still won’t be enough, because it’s not enough to have known him, known his taste on your tongue and his name on your lips.

It will never be enough, because you will always want more and more until it consumes you.)

 

His lips will taste like chemicals, and you will wonder when he’s the most real, caustic as the slow poison on his tongue or soft and sweet like his throat under your hands. His fingers will pepper your hips with bruises, teeth will sink into your neck, your wrists, your thighs, leave marks.

You will press your fingers into them later, lightly at first, then harder, harder, to remind you that you are real, that he is real, that this isn’t just a dream.

 

It’s said that there’s always one who loves more in a relationship.

You hope that the amount of hate you have for him balances it out.

 

He will pull you close and whisper in your ear, and you will shy away from him, push him away. He will look hurt, he'll grip your arms and refuse to let go even though you get louder, and then you will be shouting. He will lean too close and you will kiss him, and there will be no sparks, no click as everything falls into place, just a painful clash of teeth against lip against teeth and tongue, tongue, teeth, the sharp metallic tang of blood.

You will ask him if there, is he happy now?

He’ll grab you by the back of your neck, and lips bruised and swollen will cover yours again.

 

You will look fucking unattractive. The rain will have plastered your hair to your face, soaked your shirt see-through, made you shivering and pale, fingers pruny.

You'll look like either a second-rate prostitute or a guy who just got dumped.  
And you’ll just stand there, in the middle of the street. People will bustle around you, ignore the idiot who’s standing stock-still in the heavy rain. At most you'll get a dirty look for blocking the way.

(You will take a while to notice that the rain is no longer steadily pounding on you.

The hand that will take yours is warm, the voice that will whisper into your ear is welcoming.

Come home, it will say, and that will be all you need.)

 

He will slip something cold, hard under your tongue. You know what it is, you’re not stupid, not blind, and you will almost spit it back out. He will laugh, low and husky, tell you to calm down. Tell you that it’ll make you feel good.

He will do something with his fingers and you will forget your argument.

 

“It’s not getting better.”

Chanyeol rocks back and forth on his heels, head in between his hands.

“It’s not getting better.”

It’s a mantra he mumbles quietly to himself, over and over again.

“I know,” Baekhyun says, and Chanyeol looks up at him, smiles wide.

“It’s never going to get any better.”

Wider, lips pulled taut and teeth gleaming.

Baekhyun looks away.

**Author's Note:**

> \- let's pretend i can write  
> \- i hate second person


End file.
